Wednesday, October 30, 2013

some more late night thoughts

Sometimes i wondered how a person could do that in public- watch anime, play with those pokemon or yugioh, talk loudly with their friends. Wear this, wear that. Wear those crazy witch like leggings MONTHS before halloween, or literally have rainbow colored hair. But then i realize they are just so adamant on being themselves. Either that or being an annoying nuisance (with the talking loudly thing). and THEN i realize here i am, preaching about BEING YOURSELF when (although i have been changing) i haven't lived up to that. I mean with certain people the fear diminishes, and i can be myself because i have gained the feeling of acceptance from those people, but when people do that on a whim, i definitely get jealous. Jealous that i can't do that on my own sometimes. 
JEALOUSY
TURNING SAINTS INTO THE SEA

okay okay i will stop with my Killers moment. But you get the picture, i hope... haha(;

Now i have been changing, i have been unafraid to be myself. In a place of 36,000 it is quite easy to do. It has been my reason for everything, "oh i'll never see that kid again", after embarrassing myself, but even in a place of 36,000 that may still not happen. I just have to no longer care sometimes about not feeling accepted, but i can't get the idea in my head that there will be people that won't accept and appreciate you, even if you have never met the person. It is sad but humanity can be sick and twisted.  But that somehow makes everything so much greater. Light cannot exist with darkness, just like the Good guys can't exist without the bad. I mean that idea can seem pretty effed up, but due to the fact that we have bad moments help us to embrace the good moments so much better. The bad times also make us stronger.
I am not saying that i am thankful bad things happen in the world, thank goodness for terrorism, for the still-existing KKK. NO. i am not saying that. and even then, when the bad guys exist, the good guys have to, too. And although it may seem childish to think "THe good guys always win" they DO, even if they win in this life, they won't win in the next, regardless of your religion.
So i tell you dear readers, yeah my posts, they may now seem hypocritical. But these are thoughts i WANT to live by, i want to put into my everyday moments and life. I want to smile every moment of every day, but that isn't humanely possibly. I want to believe in myself, but i can't seem to find that in myself either. Now that is "humanely possible" to believe in yourself, it just is so hard for me sometimes. I didn't grow up in a state of abuse, i have a wonderful and loving family. I just took every word pointing at me, i let every knife thrown at me, stab me. Those big and small. So even when i say "Believe in yourself! Don't think of what others think!" although i may not be living up to just yet, those are true words that ring in my body and soul.
I will, in some moment and time, not know the feeling of NOT believing in myself. soon, hopefully(:

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

UPDATED music, and such!(: Check it ^^^^^

GUESS WHAT?!
updated my music, like i always do when i get bored with some songs, feel free to flip through them!!(: I have a feeling this playlist will be kept on here for a while!
I have also taken a TONNNNN of videos and pics, i may/may have not posted on my other networking sites, that i hope to compile into an awesome video!(: Well at least in MY eyes it will be awesome!! So keep an eye out for that which may just come in a few weeks!!!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Day sucks? read below! Day rocks? STILLL read below(;

They weren't lying when they said college is one of the best experiences. I have only been here for a few months and i already cannot agree more(:
I have met so many new people, and i have tried so many new things.
YOU TOTALLY MUST NOT BE SO SCARED ABOUT LIFE! don't be afraid to try new things because in actuality, you always face something new, something different. why fear something that makes life so beautiful? why fear something that you cannot change? Staying in a room all day, won't make you a stranger to change, although that would very much be a sad way to live, if considered a life at all.
All over facebook i see posts of people reciving their college acceptance letters, posting it with thousands of excited-faced emoticons, and i realize, it was a YEAR when i experienced that, and damn hasn't time flown by! throughout this whole time, i have had the opportunity to be in LECTURES, not just "classes", with 200+ people. I have experienced being out all night with friends, yelling and losing my voice at the football games, high-fiving the football players, being on live tv, tried korean food, communal baths and living with an absolute stranger that is now an amazing friend(: I have also experienced fear, homesickness, and just THOUSANNNNDS of other experiences, i am just unable to list. Believe me when i say the bad, or scary experiences are EASILY outweighed by the awesome ones!!(:
SO go out tomorrow and just LIVE. embrace the day, so much that you can't stop from smiling. Looking out at the world with a smile, is also said to lead to good health throughout life, just by the way!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

IMPORTANT stuff below!(:

I can't post it on the side for some reason.. so here is some contact information!-
my twitter!!- @crashnlikewaves GO FOLLOW ME!(:
my youtube account- kati scarlett
oh and ASK ME A QUESTION! - http://ask.fm/katiscarlett
^requires no signup and you are anonymous! so ask me any question and the funniest Qs i get i will be posting about!
---
Okay so i had a new experience today! i got on okaynow.com with a good friend of mine and it was an AWESOME experience. for those that don't know the site, definitely check it out! we sang and got many comments from viewers and votes to keep us on longer!!(:
I am also working on another cover to sing (the song is a surprise!) and i am really excited! I may film it and post it tomorrow, but it'll definitely be on before next week!
ANDDD  on even better news, I DON'T HAVE HOMEWORK! sooo i am going to sleep early xD
love y'all!(:

Friday, October 4, 2013

Food for Thought- World View

Have you ever walked down the street, and looked and took in everything around you? so much that you began to think, i wonder what it is like in Brazil right now, or i wonder what people in Australia walk out to every morning when going to school or work. I am an international studies major and these thoughts always clog my brain. Think about it. Someone around the world may be wanting to see what is going on in the eyes of an American, or an Australian, a Russian, a New Zealander etc. So next time you walk around in your town, city, country take everything in, enjoy every experience, because someone around the world may wish to see everything through your eyes.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Update!(:

I know it has definitely been a while and i definitely apologize for that! I opened up my page a few minutes ago though, and i was REALLY surprised that i had a ton more pageviews. So for those that came across my page, even accidentally, thank you for checking it out!!

OKAY so i am practicing on a new song, it is called Sweater Weather and it is honestly a SUPER fun song to sing. I DID mess up, including on my strumming, but i sent this to my brother josh and my mom just for fun. LITERALLY (as seen on title to prove my point as well).I tend to send vids to my mom of me singing every week or so for some weird reason, haha(: Feel free to skip to like 0:30 because i am talking to Maria in the beginning. I just didn't delete it though because i thought my face looked hilarious when i sneezed. xD

Honestly i have been in Denton for a month now and i have literally had no singing voice for like half of it. My allergies have made my voice raspy, and i can't really sing much and it truly does break my heart sometimes): AHHHH WELLL i am just focusing on getting better.
you know what makes you better? sleep! which i am getting none of. Good thing UNT has a 24 hour library. I am honestly wondering if i should stay up or not because i have class in only a few hours. If i do this is my first college all-nighter, and i am next to my friend (who is taking 19 hrs worth of classes) and this is her 13th. OMG WHUT. So for those that are thinking about UNT as a school, The library here is awesome, and everyone is really helpful, i just hope that you don't spend an all-nighter here, and get some rest.
ALSO when thinking of UNT and "everyone is helpful thing" i totally LOVE the atmosphere here. I pass by people singing, sitting with their guitar/ukulele, tight-rope walking, freaking EVERYTHING. Not to mention i just got free coffee (i am sitting in the cyber cafe in the library right now as i type) haha WOOP!(: The campus is truly diverse and some people here hold doors for each other. Smiling at a stranger is also not common and it really does give me hope about society. <3 (:
You know what is also really fun to do here, bring back doughnuts from home. Yuh that's right, ROUND ROCK DONUTS. i don't know how many surprised faces i have seen when i bring someone the Texas Sized Donut. hahahah(:
Now i am going to go, and get some shuteye. I will definitely start posting updates more often!
AGAIN: thank you so much for reading, and checking out my page. i am definitely super thankful(: